


Angel's Goodbye

by Akuma Memento Mori_reposted fics (BBJ_3)



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: M/M, Making Out, confused newly resouled Angel, outdoor almost sex, post-first soul curse, sad sack Angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 11:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBJ_3/pseuds/Akuma%20Memento%20Mori_reposted%20fics
Summary: Something has gone horribly wrong, Spike is sure of it. Darla and Angelus were arguing and neither has returned since. Dru's lack of concern makes him feel like a fool until a stranger in the shape of kyn arrives upon their doorstep.





	Angel's Goodbye

Spike paced from one wall to the other waiting for his Grand Sire to return. Dru was playing with her dolls and giggling happily which meant he was free to brood and worry. Everything about that night felt wrong, as if he was losing something without even realizing it. His hands clenched and then unclenched as he stopped in front of the door through which Angelus and Darla had left. For some reason Darla had been upset with her most beloved childe and he with his Sire. It would not surprise Spike if they had only left together for appearance sake and then gone separate ways.

When Spike had moved to go with them Dru had grabbed his hand and smiled so pretty up at him. She hadn't said anything but laughed at him. He turned to look at the two and the deadly glower that Darla had given him had told him to stay away. Angelus looked up at him with his own furious scowl in place. Sighing Spike knew where he wasn't wanted. He would guard Dru. He was truly beginning to wonder if that was the only reason Dru really made him. To guard her when "mommy" and "daddy" didn't want to play. A playmate for Dru. What a degrading reason to be turned.

Closing his eyes he sat on the steps head in hands. Dru was the psychic. She would know if they were in trouble. Doubt filled his mind. She sometimes ignored her visions or simply didn't tell anyone. At least she rarely told him. Sighing he cast a dark look towards the brunette and his accusing glare softened into a look of pure adoration. She was his savior. She was beautiful, sweet, and interesting. She wanted him, the dark feelings returned as he jealousy recalled that she desired her own Sire more than him. Cursing to himself he felt his entire soul drowning, if he still even had his soul, which he technically didn't. Oddly enough he never really felt it went anywhere though everyone swore it would have. Turning his attention back to the door he could feel a presence on the other side. Standing and rushing he flung the door open and came face to face with Angelus.

Yet it wasn't Angelus. This look-a-like's shoulders were slumped in a way of self-loathing and pitying. His eyes filled with unshed tears. Angelus never cried. He only got angry or amused. Or lustful. Never anything else that Spike had ever seen. Reaching out towards his Grand Sire he felt himself twitch as he touched the other man's shoulder, something was off. Whether he knew by the way Angelus simply sagged as if he carried a great burden or by the way he just knew this was his Grand Sire. Something was off, but it was him. He was just...changed. As Spike's hand touched his shoulder Angelus flinched away and two misted chocolate orbs met his own blue ones. He pulled his hand back as if it had been burned.

"Bloody Hell," he whispered as he backed away from the form, "You've bee-"

This new Angelus, this souled Angelus that stood before him launched forward and pulled him out of the house. Looking back he noticed that Dru was nowhere to be seen. At least she would be fine for the moment. Hopefully souled Angelus would let her stay that way. One hand over his mouth to keep him silent as the other wrapped around his waist dragging him to God knows where. When stopped they were a good five miles, at least, from the house. Spike found himself nervous, he had never had to deal with a souled vampire before. It was simply unheard of. You were turned, you lost your soul, you feasted and partied until you died. That was the order of things. Not, get turned, lose soul, party and feast, get soul back. That just didn't go well together.

Finally deciding he had let Angelus have his way long enough he began to fight against the hold which made Angelus hold on tighter and continue moving. Growling nearly silently Spike managed to manipulate his mouth to sink his teeth into Angelus's hand. The hand simply tightened as the taller bled. Spike nearly shivered in pure bliss as the delicious blood drained into his mouth. A Sire's blood was always the best due to the pure power and familiarity within it. Intoxicating would be a meager description of how wonderful it was. For a good amount of time he lost his rational mind to the enjoying of the blood but as he left himself relax his teeth pulled back in and the wound swiftly healed once nothing was obstructing the process. Looking up at Angelus in curiosity about how much he drank to heal so quickly even after being somewhat drained he found that his Grand Sire seemed frantic.

"I'm not going to scream, ya know?" Spike mumbled into Angelus's hand.

A shiver ran down the elder's spine and the hand that had been covering his mouth moved and with a shocking jolt of movement he was off the ground entirely. Angelus held him as one would hold a damsel in distress. Unfortunately for Angelus, Spike was not a damsel and was further distressed and enraged by this turn of events. Glowering at his Grand Sire Spike resisted the urge to simply kill the other. It would be terribly easy in this position but he knew it would also be pretty easy for Angelus to do the same to him.

"What in the world has gotten in to you?" Spike growled and then chuckled to himself, "Well, I guess we know what...but why are you carrying me? I can walk. I have feet. Where are we bloody going anyways?" at the uncertain look that crossed Angelus's face he rolled his eyes, "Bloody Hell, you don't even know. You idiotic git, this is insane."

"We are going away. Where Darla and Drucilla can't follow. Just you and me, William. Just you and me," Angelus whispered and Spike could tell that that was probably as far as Angelus had gotten in the whole line of thinking things out.

"Angelus we can't just-" Spike began but was cut off.

"I'm not Angelus," Angelus growled and Spike rolled his eyes in frustration.

"No, and I'm not William," Spike sarcastically growled, "Not anymore."

"But..." Angelus, or the vampire formally known as Angelus, seemed so very confused and lost that Spike took pity on him.

"Just cause you don't like what you did doesn't mean you can change it. I'm not a coward anymore, I'm not writing poetry or wasting my time on a girl who won't love me-" he heard a snort of disagreement but chose to ignore it, "I'm Spike now, not William. But I know I was William, so I respond to it knowing that some people don't understand I've moved past it. A few hours ago you were among those people who understood I was Spike. So what is going on in that big neanderthal forehead of yours, caveman."

"I...I want to be someone else. Who I was before was...wrong. Everything I have ever been has been wrong. Liam was wrong, Angelus was wrong," a small dry sob as he stopped for a moment taking an unneeded breath, "I'm always wrong, William, always."

"Well that is all bloody well but you can't just carry me off into the sun rise. I rather like me," Spike informed his carrier as he reluctantly wrapped his arms around the other's neck to have a more stable hold and feel not so out of control, "I enjoy being a vampire. I am what you say you hate. I like-"

"It is my fault, I made Dru...it is all my fault. You were so perfect, so beautiful and sweet and kind and just...so good and I let her corrupt that," he whispered as he stumbled off the road and moved so that Spike was pinned against a nearby tree. Spike rolled his eyes and sighed just for the drama of it all but let his Grand Sire do so as he felt it was better to humor him at this point.

"Now," Spike began as Angelus let his hands wander as he let his forehead rest on Spike's shoulder, "Love, this is not the right way to go about things. You should find Darla and get that soul of yours back out and away. It would be better and we'll just go one being one big happy family."

"No."

Spike huffed as he felt Angelus's skilled hands begin to undo the buttons on his shirt. This was a more familiar Angelus in the way that it was similar to what he normally acted like though a lot less violet and cruel. This was lustful Angelus, Spike decided, a state of Angelus that he was used to when dealing with Angelus lusting after others. Sure, Angelus had kissed him before and dominated him in a good number of ways but something inside seemed to restrain Angelus from going all the way. Which, in Spike's mind, could only add up to...well, frankly it never made sense to Spike.

"I want to be with Dru. I want to kill people," Spike pressed and Angelus looked up at him with mournful eyes.

"We can change that, you can get better. I'll help you...I just can't leave you here. Not with them. Not you," Angelus whispered as he kissed down Spike's jaw line and nipped at the shorter vampire's neck, "I cannot leave you behind, William.

"If you are leaving for a goody goody career then get used to being without this one," Spike explained gently knowing that at this moment Angelus was like a child in this moment and Spike was never really good with children. He was okay, but he always felt awkward like he would mess them up, "I'm not going to leave."

"You have to," Angelus was pleading with him, Spike realized his eyes widening in shock, "You have to...I can't be without you. I would feel so guilty leaving you here. I need to know that you aren't getting hurt anymore. Back to William. We have to get back to perfect William."

"William isn't perfect. He..." sighing Spike growled slightly as he felt his shirt fall to the side as Angelus's hands roamed over his body, "I was bloody awful. That is how the whole William the Bloody and the Bloody William came to being. Couldn't write poetry. Failed miserably to talk to girls, couldn't woo them in the least. I was not that good of a person, Angel-"

"Don't," Angelus hissed and pressed his arousal into Spike's who held back a moan. This was not the time, "Not Angelus..."

"Fine, then I'll call you Liam," Spike groaned as he saw that where he was half naked Angelus was still fully dressed. But what bugged him most of all was how slow the other was being. So loving and methodical. Sure, Angelus loved to tease, to reduce you to begging and then leave you dry. But this was...was not having sex or sexual activities. This didn't feel hedonistic. This felt...god, Spike's hands held tightly to the bark of the tree...this felt like Angelus was "making love" to him. He shook his head as Angelus caressed his chest with hands, tongue, and lips.

"Don't call me Liam," Angelus growled and began to leave several hickies at random places. One on Spike's neck, one near his belly button, one on the bit of hip that he could see where Spike's pants sunk too low, and so on and so forth.

Flipping Spike around so that his chest was against the tree Spike could not contain the moan that came as he felt Angelus press Spike's hips with his own into the tree. This he was used to. Rough, in a way, yet so pleasing. Spike enjoyed it rough at times, rarely but on occasions. At the moment he was dying for it. He understood a rough, lustful Angelus who would get unbearably hard and without even entering Spike or having Spike suck his cock he would come. Just from the sheer joy of being in control, of playing rough and making Spike beg. Arching back he reveled in the feeling of Angelus's hands on his hips as the older vampire's arousal dug into his ass.

"What am I to call you then?" he mused with what a soulless Angelus would say. Most likely something like master or sire. Something that put him more in control. This souled one, this one he didn't understand. This one was unpredictable. It unnerved Spike to no end. What would come next?

"Anything but that...please..." the other begged and Spike smirked thinking he understood why Angelus enjoyed other's begging. It was so ego boosting.

"Well then, love, we'll have to come up with a name. A name that tells who you were and you are," Spike pondered on it for a moment when he felt it again. Those soft gentle, loving touches. Those little caresses that don't say 'I'm your Grand Sire, obey' but instead said 'I love you...please...let me.' Trying to push the fluttering in his stomach away at the realization he searched deep inside to find his most commanding voice, "Stop. I'm evil, I'm not an angel. I've done bad things. I've liked it. If you need to go then leave...but I am a vampire. I don't have a conscience or a soul. No guilt for any of it, love. No guilt."

"You do, you have to feel it. Please...just come with me we can-" this time it was Spike's turn to cut Angelus off.

"No. If you go then you leave all of us. My place is with Dru and hers is with Darla cause you are too scared of your own actions. You did it, it's over and done with. When you get over, find us. We are staying together. Where Dru goes, I go. It isn't where Angel-" Spike caught himself before Angelus could protest, "Goes I go. You aren't my Grand Sire anymore. You are someone else and I am still Spike. Go, I won't tell Darla I saw you."

Angelus's eyes were filled with conflicting thoughts. On one hand he wanted to knock the other man out and force his William to come with him. On the other he wanted the beautiful, sweet poet to be free. To not force him to do what he didn't want to. He knew that his beloved William would fight him if necessary and he knew that he wouldn't be able to fight back. Nodding he stepped away eyes full with tears.

"You can come back with me to the family. Darla will find a way to fix you or you can run away and leave us. Your choice," Spike's words dug into Angelus's heart and unable to face his stoic childe he turned and ran leaving Spike aroused and shirtless who knows how far from the house.

When Angelus was out of sight Spike let himself sink down into a sitting position. Taking his shirt he put it on and buttoned it back up. Closing his eyes he whispered, "Good-bye, Angelus."

_goodbye_

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally by Akuma Memento Mori, but reposted with permission. 
> 
> I totally forgot the sad couple break-up posts they did.


End file.
